I'll Be Your Crying Shoulder
by JimberlyShipper
Summary: Set during Tested, an expansion of Blaine's issues. Had to fix what they screwed up. Implied Pezberry, mentions of Quick and Trotta.


_**Disclaimer: The characters of glee do not belong to me. I was doing a rewatch of season 5, and this fic idea came about. It's just a oneshot, and half AU. It's an expansion of Blaine's issues from **__Tested__**. Poor baby. He gets as much abuse by the writers as Quinn does. Okay, maybe not but it's ridiculous. Anyway, hope you like! My poor Klaine babies. Also, I picked out Blaine's middle name long before glee gave it to us, so that's the one I stuck with. **_

I'll Be Your Crying Shoulder

By Julia

The cronuts were the best thing that Blaine had ever had. He ate one every day for breakfast. It was a food orgasm. He could stuff an entire cronut into his mouth at once. Blaine was just waking up, he had spent the night with Kurt. Kurt was his fiancé. Blaine yawned, and stretched. Things had been different lately. Blaine really didn't know how to roll with the punches. He and Kurt had all of a sudden switched places. It was hard to keep up. Blaine ran his hand through his curls. He didn't really want to get up. Maybe he could stay home today. He'd been up late studying the night before. Blaine yawned again, and buried his head under the covers. In Rachel's bedroom, her alarm went off. He groaned, and reached out for Kurt. Why wasn't he there?

Groaning again, Blaine turned over, the sun in his eyes. He didn't want to move. That was when Kurt came in the bedroom, freshly showered. "Hey, babe." Blaine murmured sleepily. Sometimes he slept like a four year old and sucked his thumb. It was a habit he had never been able to break. He wiped his thumb on his pajama bottoms. Which he only slept in because of Rachel and Santana, since they were Kurt's roommates. Blaine watched as Kurt went about getting dressed. He'd really been getting stronger. Blaine didn't know if he was going to get used to that. Blaine reluctantly sat up so he could see Kurt better. He wondered if he'd start to feel safe in his relationship again. He wasn't used to feeling like the one who was being left behind. He had to admit, as much as he loved New York, it was a bit overwhelming, too. Blaine ran his hand through his dark curls. Usually he gelled them, but lately he'd been letting them go. Mostly because it was so much work in the morning. Blaine pushed back the covers and went to Kurt, putting his arms around him from behind. "Morning, sexy." He said, but his heart wasn't completely in it.

Normally Blaine was cute when he did that, but Kurt was running late this morning. "Blaine, honestly." He snapped, pushing him off. "I'm late, and so are you." He told him. Kurt got dressed, wondering what was up with Blaine lately. He'd been acting strange. Kurt was tired of trying to keep up. Things were so busy lately. Kurt needed a minute to breathe. Blaine wasn't really helping with that. Kurt went to get his hair ready. He was very short of patience today. He wasn't exactly sure why. He finished styling his hair and went in search of his bag. "Blaine, why are you still just standing there? Are you 12 today?" He asked crossly. Kurt knew that he should apologize, but he didn't. Blaine was trying his patience at the moment. Kurt put on his shoes. "Blaine, seriously, I'm leaving in five minutes. Whether you're ready or not." He told him, going to the kitchen to get coffee. Blaine had to figure out his deal, they had just gone through enough lately. Kurt bustled about the kitchen, trying not to wake Santana, who was sleeping on the couch. Although, there were a couple of mornings when Kurt suspected that she'd slept with Rachel in her room. Kurt had a class in an hour, and it was going to take at least forty to get to school. Kurt wasn't looking forward to that at all. He sighed and got out a travel cup and filled it full.

Blaine was in a bad mood now. He definitely wasn't going anywhere. He pulled on a shirt to cover up his freshman 15, which was the reason why he and Kurt hadn't slept together in a month. He felt too self conscious. Blaine went out to the kitchen, and got out pancake mix. Kurt looked at him askance. "If you're going to be late, go, but I'm not going anywhere." Blaine told him firmly. He wasn't going to deal with Kurt's attitude today. It wasn't his fault that he was late. "Go on, then." Blaine said crossly, getting to work on his breakfast. He told himself he wasn't going to cry. Blaine honestly didn't know what was up with him lately. Things were a little overwhelming since he'd come here. Blaine didn't know how to handle it all. He supposed that he could learn to deal with it. He was just scared that Kurt was going to wake up one day and stop loving him. Blaine was terrified of that happening. He and Kurt had spent a year apart, and it had been completely awful. They had almost broken up because of the long distance. But they hadn't, thankfully. "I'm not dealing with your attitude today, Kurt." Blaine informed him.

"Fine, Blaine Brandon, get kicked out of school. I don't care." Kurt sighed, and left, without even kissing him goodbye. They'd been fighting so much lately. They had to fix that. Regardless of what Kurt was projecting today, he really did love Blaine. They were engaged now, they had to work these things out. Kurt was going to ask Elliot what he thought, although Blaine had been pretty upset last time he'd done that. Kurt liked talking to Elliot about things. It was really helpful. He knew that Blaine would so not agree with it. Kurt sighed again as he got on the subway. That's where he caught sight of Puck. He had moved to New York with Blaine and Sam after graduation. Puck had had to repeat his senior year, like Brittany. Kurt was glad to run into him. Puck was rooming with Blaine and Sam, and he was working as a firefighter. Kurt slid into a seat next to him. "Hi, Noah." Kurt said. Puck was back with Quinn, even though she was at Yale. Most people called him Puck, but not Kurt. He settled into his seat, putting his bag on his lap. Kurt wanted to open up to Puck, but Puck and Blaine were really close. Kurt didn't want to put him in the middle if he didn't have to. "I'm _so_ late, I overslept this morning." Kurt said, as Puck looked at him. "My alarm didn't go off. I was so mad."

Puck really didn't know what to say to Kurt. He sort of knew what was going on with Blaine, since they'd been talking. He hadn't felt so awkward around Kurt before. Puck wondered if Kurt felt that way too. It was possible. "That sucks." Puck was on his way to the bodega. He was off for a few days. Puck wasn't sure what had made him decide to be a firefighter. Maybe because he was trying to be an actual adult. Puck wondered if Kurt and Blaine had fought again. After all, Blaine wasn't with him. "Why isn't Blaine with you? You both have school." Puck mused. He hadn't heard from Blaine yet that morning. Usually they texted a million times a day. Puck pulled out his phone and sent a text to Blaine, asking him if he was okay. Then he turned back to Kurt. "So, let's not pretend that this isn't awkward, because it is." Puck said, and Kurt nodded. "Maybe if we're up front about it, it won't be." Puck only thought it was because of Blaine and Kurt's problems. They were friends and got along. Puck didn't plan on telling Kurt how Blaine was feeling right now. It was Blaine's place. Puck hoped that he would, too. He knew how much Blaine loved Kurt.

Kurt nodded. "Well, I guess that you're right. And Blaine's still at my place. He didn't want to go to school." Kurt replied, a lock of his hair falling over his blue eyes. Kurt sighed. "He'll probably tell you. We fought this morning. He was really angry at me. I don't really know why. I mean, I was a little short with him, but it seemed like it was more than that." Kurt said. Kurt couldn't even begin to guess what was wrong with him. Blaine had been so secretive lately. He didn't really know why. They always told each other everything. Kurt hated not knowing what Blaine was going through. "Noah, you don't have to tell me, and I'll understand if you don't, but what is up with Blaine? Why is he pushing me away? We have finally got everything on track, and now he's acting so strangely. We almost broke up last year, and I don't want that to happen. I love Blaine, and I want to marry him. We deserve to be happy. We've been through enough drama." Kurt hoped that Puck would give him _something_, but he actually didn't think that he would. Kurt just hated that they were still having issues. Kurt was tired of feeling like Blaine was slipping away. Kurt hadn't felt like this for awhile, and he hated that the feeling was back. It was the absolute worst.

"I'm not going to tell you a thing. It's Blaine's thing. He has to tell you." Puck replied, running his hand over his head. "I get that you're scared. So is Blaine. I've told him that he needs to tell you. I don't know why he's hesitating. And you do deserve to be happy. I'm not denying that. I can't break Blaine's trust. He trusts me and I'm not going to break it." Puck told him firmly. "I mean, you're one of my friends, too, but Blaine's my best friend. He really helped me through losing Finn." He and Blaine had gotten really close during that senior year. Blaine had gotten close to Sam, too. Puck and Sam weren't as close as they'd used to be, and he wasn't really sure why. Puck had thought it was because of Quinn, but Sam was dating Sugar Motta, so it's not like it was her. Puck wasn't sure if they'd fix it or not. But he was glad that he'd had Blaine last year. It had really helped. Puck knew that he didn't have to tell Kurt how important that was. Since he had been Kurt's brother. Puck didn't really know what was going to happen, but he would end up on Blaine's side when the dust fell. It couldn't be any other way. "For what it's worth, I do want you and Blaine to work things out."

After that, it was Puck's stop, and he got off. Kurt was alone with his thoughts after that. Kurt appreciated that Puck was sticking by Blaine. Kurt knew what would happen if he and Blaine were to break up. Kurt and Blaine's friendship would mostly be done. When his stop came, Kurt headed up the stairs and down the block. NYADA was close now. Kurt was barely going to make it to class. He knew that he was going to be barely able to focus, too. Kurt opened the door and headed inside. As he reached the door, there was a note saying that the class was cancelled. _Great._ After he'd killed himself getting here. Kurt would go and chill out in a NYADA lounge till his next class. Kurt had a lot of his homework done, and he could use a breather. Kurt went down the hall and slid into an armchair. He pulled out a book and tried to focus on it. Kurt didn't really know if he could make it through a breakup with Blaine. They had been together for about three years. They didn't have a perfect relationship, but they loved each other. And they had been through enough. They were engaged. Kurt sighed and ran his hand through his dark brown hair. It would help a lot if he knew what Blaine's issue was. He had never thought that it would come to this, that they weren't telling each other things.

He was back in his own apartment. Blaine had just closed down a porn site. He hadn't told Kurt about it. He hoped that he wouldn't be angry if he did find out. It was just Blaine didn't feel like he could sleep with him right now. And the porn site wasn't going to judge him. Even though he knew deep down that Kurt wouldn't, either. Blaine lay back on the couch, and heard the door open. It was Puck. Blaine heard him call out, and he yelled back. "Living room." He was waiting on a pizza. Actually, a couple of pizzas. If Puck was home, at least he wouldn't eat them both. Blaine lifted his head slightly as Puck entered the room. "Hey, man." Blaine said, sitting up so Puck could sit, too. His friend sat. "Did you get what you needed at the bodega?" Blaine asked, hoping that Puck wasn't going to ask him about Kurt again. They'd texted a bit earlier like they always did, but Blaine didn't want to talk to anyone about it right now, including his best friend. Blaine just wanted to forget about it for awhile. Blaine knew that he was burying his feelings in food. That was bad, and he knew it. Blaine had to work on that. He didn't feel comfortable at all right now.

"No, they were out." Puck replied. He knew that Blaine didn't want to talk about Kurt. Puck wasn't sure what to say to him. Puck wasn't sure about much with Blaine right now. But Puck supposed that I Blaine didn't want to talk then he wasn't going to make him talk. Puck didn't know if he could really offer to help, he wasn't sure that he really knew how gay relationships worked. He was learning, though. The door buzzed, and Blaine got up to go and get it. Puck was sure that it was some kind of food. Blaine had been eating a lot of food lately. He was sure that he'd have to take a lot of time to work off what he was putting on. Puck was proved right when Blaine came back in with two pizzas. Puck knew that he was going to be asked to eat some, and he was actually hungry so that wasn't even a bad thing. Blaine put it down and went to get something to drink and some paper plates. Puck opened up the box and had to admit, it looked delicious. Puck even didn't care that it had bacon on it. Puck didn't exactly keep kosher like he was supposed to. He liked pork, bacon, ham, you know. Blaine came back in, and handed him a paper plate. Puck put a couple of slices on his plate. "So, you're not at school." Puck said.

Blaine nodded. "I know." He said. Blaine didn't know how to explain why he wasn't. Mostly because then he'd have to talk about Kurt and he didn't want to. Blaine didn't really know how he could talk about Kurt right now. Especially since he wasn't sure how to tell Kurt what he was feeling. "I just didn't feel like going. I woke up and just didn't want to go." He knew that it was completely stupid, and since it was a very small school, and his absence would be noted, but he just hadn't wanted to go. Blaine got some of his own slices. He took a bite and chewed as Puck waited for him to continue to speak. "I don't know why I didn't go. I mean, I just woke up and I didn't want to go. I didn't have anything super important." Blaine opened up a Coke and took a sip. Puck kept his own hazel eyes on Blaine, and Blaine felt like he was being scrutinized. "So, what's your plan for your days off? You going to do anything fun?" He asked, desperate to change the subject. Blaine hoped to get Puck talking about himself, to keep the attention off him.

Puck said, "Yeah, I'm going to go see Quinn tomorrow." They were going to hang out at Yale, because Quinn had a class that she couldn't skip. Puck didn't mind going to New Haven. He didn't, even if it was a college town. Puck wasn't really into school, but he admired that about Quinn. Puck liked that she was so driven. She was a very smart girl. "I'm going there because she's got a class she can't get out of." Puck replied. Usually she had to come to him. It was easier on him. Puck wondered if he could get Blaine to tell him how he was feeling. He wanted to help. It's not like he didn't care about Kurt's side, but Blaine was his best friend. Puck didn't know how to start, though, to get him to talk and not sound cheesy. Puck looked at Blaine. "B, what is really going on with you? I know that there's something wrong with you. And so does Kurt, by the way. He asked me about it on the subway." Puck told him. Puck watched as Blaine sighed and shifted around on the couch, trying to look like he wasn't doing anything. "Blaine, I know that something's wrong with you. You can tell me. I told Kurt that I wasn't going to tell him anything. You can trust me." Puck really hoped that Blaine would listen and tell him what was going on. It wasn't good to keep things inside.

Blaine sighed. He didn't want to tell him. But he didn't really know how to say it. "I just… I'm feeling very insecure. I don't…. I just feel like Kurt is so different, that he doesn't need me anymore." Blaine sighed again. He didn't know why he felt that way. It was almost unfair. Blaine wasn't sure that it was fair of him to blame Kurt for it though. It wasn't his fault. Kurt was allowed to grow and change. Blaine still loved him. He didn't know how to fix it though. "I know I can't blame Kurt for it. It's not his fault that he's changed." Blaine opened the second box, which was Hawaiian. He liked pineapple on pizza. It was so good. Blaine took a bite out of the slice he'd picked up, and Puck gave him a look but said nothing. Blaine didn't know what else to say. He didn't want to tell him about the porn site. It wasn't that important, was it? It had been awhile since they'd had sex. An entire month to be exact. He wondered how to tell Kurt how he felt, and he didn't think that he could do it. He knew that Kurt was going to get angry and overreact. Blaine didn't see what the big deal was.

Puck picked up a slice, taking a bite out of it before he spoke. "B, you have to tell him how you feel. You can't keep him in the dark. He loves you. You don't want this to fester, and you guys end up breaking up." Puck said. He didn't want to see that. They were great together. Puck had to admit, he had been a bit of a homophobe before Kurt and Blaine. Puck wasn't sure what else to say to him. They could talk about anything. Puck honestly didn't want to see Blaine mess up his relationship. He didn't know how to keep them together if they didn't communicate. Puck ran his hand along his head. "Blaine, you are going to lose Kurt if you don't man up. I don't want to see that happen." Puck really could tell that Blaine was floundering. He hated that and wished that he could do something more to help. Puck hated that they were fighting like this. "That's not all that's wrong with you. Talk to me. What else is wrong with you?" Puck asked, sure that he wasn't going to tell him. He heard the front door open and close, it must be Sam. He didn't join them, though, he headed straight for the stairs. Puck wondered if he was okay. Sam was trying to be a model. Puck wasn't really sure why, that seemed kind of pointless. But he was hoping that he could talk Sam into being a fireman if that didn't work out for him.

Blaine sighed. He didn't know what to say. He didn't want to talk about this. "I…. I'll talk to Kurt, okay, please can we just drop it? Tell me what's new at work." Blaine said. Puck wasn't a college guy. Blaine supposed that that wasn't so bad. Some people weren't college people. Puck was a great guy though. Blaine ate some more, his hands glad to be busy with something. Blaine listened as Puck talked, nodding and piping in eventually. And occasionally. Blaine just didn't know what else to say. He needed to talk to his fiancé, he knew that. Blaine let out a sigh. He just hoped that Puck would ignore it. Puck could be really persuasive when he wanted to be. Blaine wondered what to say to Kurt about his feelings. He needed to decide what to say so he could get his feelings out the right way. Blaine didn't know what to say. He knew that it had to be the right words. Blaine didn't want Kurt to feel bad or get angry. Blaine ran a hand through his shock of dark curls. He'd taken to going gel free because Kurt liked it. Blaine was okay with it, he just put on a little bit of product to avoid frizz and it was fine. Blaine wondered what to say.

A couple of days later, Blaine was at Kurt's. To have the big talk. Kurt wasn't home yet, Blaine had ordered some food, but he'd gone with something simple. Blaine knew that Kurt wasn't going to want to have anything too caloric, he was constantly working out. Not that that was the worst idea. Blaine was going to have to do something to get rid of his own weight. Blaine had definitely gained his freshman fifteen. He was chilling out on the couch, waiting for Kurt to come home. Blaine had planned out everything he was going to say. The day before they'd gotten into a big fight about the porn site on Blaine's laptop. Blaine knew that it was hard to deal with that sometimes, and he supposed that he didn't blame Kurt. Some people considered it to be cheating. Blaine had just felt very self conscious. He didn't feel like he could be naked in front of Kurt right now. He wished that he felt like he could. Blaine was watching something stupid on tv. He wasn't sure where Rachel and Santana were, work maybe. They'd been spending a lot of time together lately. Blaine looked up when Kurt got home, putting down his bag. Blaine looked at him, not sure what to say. It was a little awkward. Blaine looked at him, and ran his hand through his messy curls. "How was school?" Blaine asked, he'd had some classes but he'd gotten done first.

"Fine." Kurt replied. He didn't want to argue with him again. He folded his arms tightly and looked at Blaine. "What was with yesterday? Why were you watching porn? You are my fiancé, Blaine, you didn't even _think_ about how I would feel. You just went ahead. It's been a month since we had sex. Now I know why." Kurt replied. He folded his arms tighter, and watched Blaine shift nervously on the couch. "Why are you doing that? You know how I feel about that." Kurt really didn't like Blaine doing that kind of thing. Kurt didn't know why it bugged him so much. He just didn't like it. Masturbation was going to happen, but he didn't have to watch porn to do it. He should be thinking of Kurt when he did that. Or even some hot celebrity or something, but not porn. Kurt's bangs fell over his forehead, and he lifted his hand to wipe them back. Kurt didn't know what else to say. Things had been so weird with them lately and he didn't want it to be anymore. Kurt wanted his life back. "We have to talk about these things, Blaine. If you let them fester, then there'll be resentments, and those are bad. I don't want that. We've talked about that."

Blaine looked at his shoes, running his hand over his face. "Kurt, I'm sorry…. Honestly. I really am. I just… I feel like…. we're in this race, and you're so far ahead of me. I feel like you don't need me anymore, Kurt. When we met, you were so worried about Karofsky, and you needed me. But now you're so strong, and you're thriving. You don't need me anymore." Blaine was starting to cry, and he rubbed his face with his hands. "I don't know how to even be with you anymore." Blaine watched as Kurt looked at him, and joined him on the couch. Blaine wiped his eyes, and then Kurt took his hands. He held them, and Blaine sniffled, tears falling off his chin. Blaine didn't really know what else to say, and he didn't know how this was going to go. Blaine sniffled again, his lip trembling. It was really not fair, this life. He couldn't lose Kurt, he loved him so much. Blaine watched Kurt stroke the back of his hands, and he let out a breath. "Kurt, I love you so much. I want to be with you forever. I want to be in that nursing home with you when we're old and gray." Blaine sighed, and buried his face in Kurt's neck, smelling. They had always talked about that, and Blaine still wanted that. They always compared themselves to Noah and Allie from _The Notebook_. One of their favorite movies of all time.

"Blaine, I'm not going to apologize for not being some delicate flower who needs his fiancé to protect him. But I love you, and we can fix this. I love you so much and I still need you. We will run this race together. I'd rather do that than have you feel like this, okay? We can adjust. We just have to adjust to our relationship as it is now." He said. Kurt pressed his lips to Blaine's, very softly. He ran his hand through Blaine's curls. "Now, can we please have hot makeup sex? I don't care if you've changed body wise, you are still Blaine and you are handsome as ever." Kurt ran his hand over Blaine's chin, cupping it. A slow smile was spreading over Blaine's face. Kurt pressed his lips to Blaine's, pressing him back onto the couch. Blaine's hips jutted up to meet his, and Kurt let out a soft contented sigh. Kurt rubbed his length against Blaine's through their pants. Blaine let out a soft sigh. Kurt kissed him deeply, getting harder and harder as they kissed. It would be hot.

Afterwards, they were lying naked in the bed, tangles of limbs. Kurt was stroking his hand through Blaine's chest hair. "I love you, Blaine. Are we please back on the right track? I don't want to fight anymore. We can run this race together." Kurt said, yawning. Sex really tired him out. Kurt laid his head on the pillow, his hand sliding to Blaine's stomach. He traced circles on his skin. He loved Blaine's skin, and he tended to tan very well. Kurt loved that. He totally couldn't imagine life without Blaine. He just hoped that he'd ever have to find out, he hadn't so far.

Blaine's arms were around Kurt, too, and he hummed contentedly. "I love you, too, Kurt. I'm feeling better about us, really. I promise." Kurt was the best thing to happen to him. Blaine honestly didn't want to eat at the moment, either. That was great. Blaine looked at Kurt. "You'll work out with me, right? I want to get these pounds off." Blaine grinned. "Plus, we'll get to shower together afterwards, and that's really sexy." They both laughed. Blaine yawned, too, it was early to be sleepy but they had gone for awhile. That had been excellent. Blaine stroked Kurt's hips, just glad to be here with him. Blaine really was feeling better.

They would weather it all together.

_**Author's note: Omg. That took longer than I wanted to write, but I liked how it turned out. Hope ya'll liked. I wanted to do my own spin because they tend to fucks things up. XD. Anyway, review if you want!**_


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